Convent – a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness.

Ambrose Bierce Women Quote

Day n. A period of twenty-four hours mostly misspent.

Ambrose Bierce Time Quote

Academe n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Ambrose Bierce Sports Quote

Land: A part of the earth’s surface considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society and is eminently worthy of the superstructure.

Ambrose Bierce Society Quote

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Ambrose Bierce Religion Quote

Patriotism. Combustible rubbish ready to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his name.

Ambrose Bierce Patriotism Quote

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man – who has no gills.

Ambrose Bierce Nature Quote

Architect. One who drafts a plan of your house and plans a draft of your money.

Ambrose Bierce Money Quote

Sweater n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.

Ambrose Bierce Mom Quote

Marriage n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master a mistress and two slaves making in all two.

Ambrose Bierce Marriage Quote