Women don’t want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think – in a deeper voice.
Any man today who returns from work sinks into a chair and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
If you have no faith you’ve lost your battle.
Did you ever see the customers in health – food stores? They are pale skinny people who look half – dead. In a steak house you see robust ruddy people. They’re dying of course but they look terrific.
People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on.
I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.
Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.