They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I’m going to miss mine by just a few days.

Garrison Keillor Sad Quote

Thank you dear God for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now because I won’t feel so thankful then.

Garrison Keillor Thankful Quote

God writes a lot of comedy… the trouble is he’s stuck with so many bad actors who don’t know how to play funny.

Garrison Keillor Funny Quote

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon it’s time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

Garrison Keillor Home Quote

Welcome to Lake Wobegon where all the women are strong all the men are good-looking and all the children are above average.

Garrison Keillor Men Quote

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Garrison Keillor Nature Quote

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us hovering averting our eyes and they seldom offer thanks but what we do for them is never wasted.

Garrison Keillor Parenting Quote

I’m not busy… a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn’t think my schedule looked so busy.

Garrison Keillor Age Quote

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory like a thunderstorm and we all go through it together.

Garrison Keillor Christmas Quote

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Garrison Keillor Food Quote