Happiness? A good cigar a good meal a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman it depends on how much happiness you can handle.

George Burns Good Quote

Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.

George Burns Time Quote

At my age flowers scare me.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

I would go out with women my age but there are no women my age.

If you live to be one hundred you’ve got it made. Very few people die past that age.

I’m at the age now where just putting my cigar in its holder is a thrill.

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.

Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.

You can’t help getting older but you don’t have to get old.

George Burns Age Quotes

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

I’d rather be a failure at something I love than a success at something I hate.

George Burns Failure Quotes

Happiness is having a large loving caring close-knit family in another city.

I spent a year in that town one Sunday.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.

George Burns Family Quotes

I look to the future because that’s where I’m going to spend the rest of my life.

Look to the future because that is where you’ll spend the rest of your life.

George Burns Future Quotes

Don’t stay in bed unless you can make money in bed.

I can’t afford to die I’d lose too much money.

George Burns Money Quotes