The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.

George Carlin Family Quote

Well if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us do they?

George Carlin Freedom Quote

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past.

George Carlin Future Quote

When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot’s hands.

George Carlin Life Quote

If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

George Carlin Loneliness Quote

Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

George Carlin Money Quote

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.

George Carlin Pet Quote

Religion is just mind control.

George Carlin Religion Quote

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

George Carlin Travel Quote

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

George Carlin Work Quote