I must confess I was born at a very early age.

Groucho Marx Age Quote

She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.

Groucho Marx Beauty Quote

Outside of a dog a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.

Groucho Marx Best Quote

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Groucho Marx Intelligence Quote

One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.

Groucho Marx Morning Quote

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Groucho Marx Music Quote

I not events have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day today and I’m going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx Power Quote

It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.

Groucho Marx Relationship Quote

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Groucho Marx Women Quote

Politics is the art of looking for trouble finding it everywhere diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

Well Art is Art isn’t it? Still on the other hand water is water. And east is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does. Now you tell me what you know.

Groucho Marx Art Quotes