If you’re a woman and a guy’s ever said anything romantic to you he just left off the second part that would have made you sick if you could have heard it.
I wish I could know everything ever like that would be my wish – that’s what I hope heaven is that they tell you who shot JFK and all that stuff.
I think you have to try and fail because failure gets you closer to what you’re good at.
I have a crazy amount of different jobs so the way I manage that is to not do more than one at a time. It’s like old computers that had small memory chips they would do something called swapping where they would fill the memory with one task do it and get it out.
I don’t think women are better than men I think men are a lot worse than women.
I don’t like comedy. I like funny things. I don’t like comedy. Like comedy movies are just ‘Oh Jesus.’
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That’s like a sports thing it’s not usually a comedy and writing thing.
America’s a family. We all yell at each other. It all works out.
It’s a positive thing to talk about terrible things and make people laugh about them.
Talking is always positive. That’s why I talk too much.
It’s more fun to experience things when you don’t know what’s going to happen.
I’ve learned from experience that if you work harder at it and apply more energy and time to it and more consistency you get a better result. It comes from the work.